


A thousand stories to tell

by Serahne



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, Sexual Content, This is a tentative to organize the prompts from my tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-14 09:55:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16910769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serahne/pseuds/Serahne
Summary: Komaeda and Hinata don't have the easiest relationship.Somehow, they still make it work.





	1. Exhaustion

**1.**

 

"You're too young to hate the world."

 

Hinata frowned, resisting the urge to smother himself under a pillow to not hear Komaeda’s speech. It was hard, sometimes, to remember that they were friends.

 

Sort of.

 

Kind of.

 

“I don’t know. I wish I didn’t live in a world where the atmosphere is freaking poisoned, where people are murdering each other, where I chose to become a monster and let self-serving people mess with my brain, where the only person I saw like a friend was murdered in front of me…”

 

He closed his eyes. “We are not living in a beautiful world, Komaeda. I know you don’t care, I know it’s easy for you, but it’s not that easy for everyone else.”

 

Only silence answered him. Komaeda took a quick breath, and then nothing, just a lingering, awkward silence that Hinata knew he was responsible for.

 

“Sorry,” he said, because he was supposed to be the better person between the two of them. “It was uncalled for.”

 

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Komaeda didn’t sound too bothered, almost distracted, really. “I was wondering… would you not do it again ? If you were given the possibility to become Izuru Kamukura in Hope’s Peak, would you take it ?”

 

Hinata shook his head. This question… how many times had he asked himself the same thing ?

 

“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” he said, defeated. “Someone else would have taken my place. Enoshima would have destroyed the school and manipulated each of you into despair all the same.”

 

“Exactly !” Komaeda replied, triumphantly, and Hinata wasn’t sure why he was so satisfied with the answer. “You know what would have been different ? You wouldn’t have been with us in the Program. You would have died during the Tragedy, you wouldn’t have been there to inspire everyone with your beautiful hope, you wouldn’t have been there to correct my disgusting, wretched actions and-”

 

“Komaeda !” Hinata cut him off, because his eyes were shining too brightly, and he was starting to sweat. Fortunately, he seemed to come back to his sense, after Hinata called his name, and blinked slowly.

 

“All of them would be dead,” Komaeda whispered nonetheless. “All of them. Because of me, and because of you, not accepting the Kamukura project !”

 

Hinata couldn’t help but stare at his friend, shivering and intense, and he knew that something was wrong in what he was saying, in _how_ he was saying it, but words coming out of his mouth had something… appealing.

 

“Your sole existence,“ Komaeda concluded, “destroyed the world. And your sole existence redeemed it, have no doubt. That’s why you are my hope, Hinata. No matter how terrible this world, my luck, or anything else can be, it’s nothing when compared to you. Do you understand ?

 

Komaeda’s eyes were begging him to, but Hajime shook his head.

 

“No, not really.”

 

He saw disappointment flicker on Komaeda’s face. The white-haired boy lowered his head, defeated.

 

“I hope that you’ll see the world how I see it, one day. I wish you could see by yourself how I… how everyone sees you.”

 

Hinata smiled, and closed his eyes for half a second. And then he _saw_.

 

He saw the faces of his friends, alive and awake, joking and loving. He saw Naegi’s nod to him when they came to help them in Future Foundation’s Headquarters, he saw Kirigiri’s face, half-purple but still lively, he saw her thanking them. All these people who wouldn’t be alive without him. But it wasn’t the only thing he saw.

 

He saw someone planting a tree, somewhere in a country he had never been, he heard a baby scream for the first time, and life coming through in spite of everything, he felt the softness of a lover’s skin against his body and understood the joy of people when the first crops start to grow and they understand they’ll get something to eat soon. He saw Komaeda’s smile, smore genuine and relaxed than he had ever seen it, and he realized that if that was what the was like, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

 

Maybe there _was_ hope.

 

And then, he opened his eyes and reality settled in, once again.

 

“Are you okay ?” Komaeda asked him.

 

“I guess,” he replied. “I’m just tired. I’m just old.”

 

Komaeda snickered, and the eerie atmosphere dissipated. “Then sleep, old man.”

 

Komaeda left his room at some point, but by then he was already asleep.

 

*

 

**2.**

 

“You look really tired.”

 

Hinata turned away from the computer he has been working on for _three hours_ , trying to finish the assignment Togami had given him about the situation in Kyoto. He glanced at his friend, offering him a ‘are you kidding me ?’ look.

 

“Do I ?” he mumbled, definitely too exhausted to pull off a witty come-back.

 

They were in the room they shared since they had started working for Future Foundation, months ago. Strangely, they managed to get along pretty well during this time. Komaeda wasn’t the worst roommate someone could have : he cleaned up his side of the room ( and Hinata’s when he was too busy ), he was quiet, respectful of his private life, and a formidable debater.

 

“Hinata” the white-haired boy called him with a way-too-serious look on his face for the absurdities he was about to say. “At this rate the bags under your eyes are going to eat your whole face, you know. I’m worried about it.”

 

This time Hinata didn’t even grace Komaeda with an answer because this report _needed to be perfect_. And what if he had barely slept these last three days ? What if the food had the taste of cardboard, just so that he couldn’t enjoy it and knew he had to hurry back to work ? What if each passing second was another moment of frustration for Izuru Kamukura, stuck forever with Hajime Hinata, boring reserve course student ?

 

 _Kamukura would have finished this in a few hours_ , he thought, not really sure if that was true or not, but it was a thought that motivated him to work even harder, and that was the reason it popped in his brain so suddenly.

 

“You really need to sleep” Komaeda said - _so annoying, can’t he just accept that there is work that needs to be done._ “You can’t go on like this.”

 

“Are you really giving me self-care advice ?” He replied, his voice a little colder than he intended to. “Do you think you are qualified for that ?”

 

The other boy fell silent after that, and Hinata tried not to feel too guilty about it. How did his well-being compare to the world’s safety ? If he didn’t use every minutes of the time at his disposal to undo the damages he…

 

Komaeda’s clear voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

“Then, I ask for a date.”

 

Hinata was so shocked that he taped on the letter ‘g’ instead of ‘h’ on the keyboard, and he raised his head to look at a determined-looking Komaeda.

 

“A date ?” he repeated, the word tasting foreign on his tongue.

 

“Yes” smiled Komaeda. “Do you remember that you promised me that we could spend one afternoon doing what I wanted together in order to start to understand each other ? I called it a date and you didn’t say it wasn’t so…”

 

“ _It was ages ago”_ Hinata rolled his eyes. “I said that when we were all on the island. Everyone was scared that you would try to poison us all or something, and I wanted to prove them you were okay.”

 

Well, more or less. He also liked how people seemed to avoid Komaeda back there, and thus how he could not be bothered by everyone’s problems when he hung out with him.

 

The white haired boy’s eyes shone with an amused light.

 

“You never decided on a expiration date for this promise, if I remember correctly. So, Hinata, I decided that this afternoon, we would have a date. _A nap-date_ , more precisely. Our activity consist in napping. In a bed.”

 

“Are you kidding me ?” pleaded Hinata. “I have this report to write and…”

 

“So are you backing down on your word ?”

 

It was infuriating. Komaeda’s mouth was twisted in the shit-eating grin he was always wearing when he was playing games, especially when he knew he was winning. He was right : Hinata was too tired to fight him, even if one part of his brain was screaming at him that _no one cares about this promise_ an that _he has something to do_. He was exhausted. So exhausted that the words on the screen were starting to get blurry - or, no, wait, that was because of the frustrated tears in his eyes.

 

“You aren’t even tired, why are you insisting on this nap-date so much ?”

 

Komaeda tilted his head in the direction of his own bed.

 

“I’ve started an amazing novel this morning, about a young boy travelling all around the world with his loyal friends. I can do that while you are sleeping, I don’t mind.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like a date.” Hinata noticed, half-defeated already.

 

“Well, really” Komaeda giggled behind his hand. “I’m the one who called it a date, you’re the one telling me we would do what I wanted. Between you and me, we both know who is the most sensible person here is, right ?”

 

“Right.”

 

He didn’t add anything, just looked blankly at the screen while the computer was shutting off, and didn’t move from his seat until the ventilator stopped rotating, drowning the room in a welcome quietness.

 

Komaeda looked at him with attention while he stumbled toward his bed, and then almost moaned in pleasure when the soft mattress welcomed his body, and he thought he could fall asleep right now if his brain wasn’t screaming at him to _go back to work, you weak, average, boring, uninteresting person, how dare you rest when people are dying by your fault everywhere and you could save them and…_

 

“Komaeda ?” he mumbled into his pillow.

 

“Yes, Hinata ?” the other’s voice reached him from the other side of the room.

 

“Could you read aloud, please ?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Komaeda couldn’t see him smile, in the position he was in, and he started reading, his beautiful voice filling Hinata’s head with words of adventure and future, and all these wonderful things they were trying to make him believe in here, at Future Foundation, but only existed in the space between Komaeda and him at this moment, within this book.

 

He sighed, and let the sleep take him far, far away.

  


*

 

**3.**

 

Hinata woke up with a coppery taste in his mouth and cold sweat covering his body, and he thrashed around his bed, pushing away the sheets, trying to get away from the last remains of the dream he had just escaped. A nightmare… or something else… he felt a familiar warmth in his lower half and suddenly he felt _sick_.

 

Beside him, half-laying and half-sitting on the bed, Komaeda was rubbing his eyes, confused by what was happening right now.

 

“Hajime...” he whispered. “You… you were screaming my name… right ? What’s going on ?”

 

His voice was raspy and still sleepy, and he stretched his metallic hand toward the panicked boy who jerked away from the bed. He didn’t want Komaeda to touch him. Not after what he had just dreamed… not after the sick arousal that was still there, under the disgust and the terror.

 

_There is so much blood, there are corpses everywhere, and he couldn’t care less, for the only thing he is focused on is the crazy-eyed boy under him, all blue and black and red, who is pushing him inside, digging his heels on his back, begging despite his state for Hinata to use him and…_

 

Something twisted inside his stomach and he ran toward the bathroom, barely fast enough to reach the toilet seat before he threw up what seemed to be the last three meals he had had. His hands were holding the seat’s porcelain tightly, but his whole body just wouldn’t stop shaking.

 

_The physical response is predictable, but that’s not what’s interesting. The boy has been treating him in the most interesting way ever since they come in contact, a different way, as if he expects something of him and this expectation is enough to submit entirely, to accept anything, and not with any kind of contrivance. He is interested in knowing how far he can push him before he breaks._

 

_He leans toward the boy’s shoulder, his mouth open, and he bites, hard enough to taste blood. The other screams as if he has been murdered and the scream turns into a strangled moan with the next thrust of his hips._

 

Hinata’s stomach contracted painfully, but nothing else came out, and he felt tears on the corner of his eyes. He was such a mess.

 

He heard a knock and raised his head to see Komaeda, looking at him by the door, his curious, cautious expression telling him that he was not going back to bed without an explanation - but to be honest, after what had just happened, he didn’t feel like sleeping anymore.

 

He gave Komaeda his poorest attempt of a smile, and in exchange, the other quietly offered him a glass of water. He made sure that his fingers didn’t graze Komaeda’s when he took it.

 

“Nightmare ?” Komaeda said after a few seconds of them being just there, Hinata drinking his water and grimacing at the shitty taste in his mouth - still better than blood.

 

He leant his back against the wall, enjoying how cold it was on his naked skin, and nodded, unsure of his voice at this moment. Beside, Komaeda didn’t need to know the whole truth, not about it.

 

“Is it your memory from Kamukura ?” Komaeda tried again.

 

Hinata shouldn’t have been so irritated. He didn’t like how cautious Komaeda’s tone was, how he was walking toward him like someone would walk toward a small, easily-scared animal. Komaeda was just as - if not more - fucked up than he was , and he would appreciate if he didn’t try to play the responsible caregiver.

 

It would be easier if the white-haired boy had spent the night in his own cottage, but the truth was that they shared a bed more often than not lately, and Hinata didn’t mind that much.

 

Except for this kind of situation, where it would be so much easier to be alone.

 

“No.” Hinata mumbled, and his voice was awful, he could hear it. “You were in there.”

 

Let’s not dig into the details, he thought. Let’s not.

 

“Oh.” Komaeda replied, and there was so much in this _‘oh’_ that Hinata felt like he was going to throw up again.

 

“And it wasn’t a memory because we never met in Towa, right ?” Hinata said.

 

He was trying to catch something, anything, that would betray some knowledge on Komaeda’s part. Himself didn’t remember everything. Maybe it was because of the surgery, but amongst their group, he was the one with the most blank spaces in his timeline, and no one to really fill it since he had been mostly alone during his time in Despair.

 

“We didn’t” Komaeda agrees, and Hinata cursed the other boy to be so good at lying, and himself to be so bad at discerning the truth.

 

“Okay,” he said.

 

He would fight, one day. But at that moment, it was two a.m, his whole body hurt and he wanted to wash his brain with bleach. He knew he could pry the truth out of Komaeda, he knew he could. The other wouldn’t resist long, if Hinata really wanted to know, but did he ? What was even the better option, between Hinata’s mind conjuring this sick fantasy of his own, or the whole thing being a memory ? Wasn’t it better to stay in Schroedinger’s hell, where the cat was already dead but as long as they didn’t open the box, they could still pretend he wasn’t ?

 

And Komaeda smiled at him with such tenderness -  as if he had just listened to everything Hinata was thinking -  that he wanted to disappear. The other held out his real hand.

 

“Let’s go back to bed ?”

 

“No” Hinata said. “I’m staying here.”

 

It was stupid and there was no reason for it, and now that his body wasn’t shaking anymore, he was starting to get cold, but he really, really didn’t want to go back to their bedroom. A part of him just couldn’t.

 

Komaeda nodded, but instead of leaving him there, he sat beside him, close so that Hinata could feel the warmth coming from his body, but not close enough for them to touch, and for the first time since he had woken up up, he felt like he could breathe a little more easily.

 

“Good night, Hinata !” Komaeda smiled, closing his eyes, and pretending to fall asleep immediately, head against the wall.

Hinata didn’t answer and rolled his eyes at the obviously fake snoring noises that the other made. He tried to put himself to sleep, his brain slowly evacuating everything from his… nightmare.

 

When he woke up the next day, his body hurt so much that he wondered how he was going to stand up, but his head had fallen onto Komaeda’s shoulder during the night, and Komaeda had somehow managed to intertwine their fingers without waking him up, and he thought that there were worst ways to starts a day.


	2. Step by step

**1.**

 

It was becoming an habit : Komaeda and him, kissing and clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it, grinding against the other like the teenagers they didn’t had the time to be, and this  _ want _ , burning, running through them at an exhilarating pace. It was always at this moment that Hinata tried to slip his hands under Komaeda’s shirt, desperately to touch more of this pale skin…

 

… only to stopped by Komaeda jumping away from him, as if he had been burnt. Everytime, he profusely apologized.

 

“Uh, it’s fine ?” Hinata replied, because it was the right answer of course. “Just… can you tell me what’s wrong ?”

 

Komaeda avoided his eyes, and just shook his head, and it was in these moments that Hinata wished he could understand the other better.

 

“Nothing,” he said, not even bothering to find a good lie. “It was very nice, but it’s getting late, I need to go back to my cottage.”

 

“Okay, good night, then ?” Hinata replied, but Komaeda was already gone, and he was all alone in the theater, wondering why their dates always ended up the same way.

 

“Maybe he is self-conscious ?” Koizumi suggested the next day, when he told her about it. They were both by the pool, eating ice-cream and making sure that Souda and Gundham didn’t slack off. These two have been forced to clean around the hostel under Koizumi’s supervision after they skipped the cleaning duty last time.

 

Hinata was just there because lying on a deck chair was nice, and Koizumi was always blunt and honest, and he trusted her to not try and coddle his feelings. Considering her words, he tilted his head on the side.

 

“I don’t know,” he said. “I mean, the first day we met he didn’t hesitate to join all of you at the beach, do you remember ? Gosh, I feel like it was a lifetime ago.”

 

Koizumi hummed before kindly informing Souda that the left side of the pool still needed some attention. Then, she was back on Hinata’s case, and looked very serious.

 

“Maybe the context is what makes him self-conscious ? I’m sorry, I can’t really help you, I don’t talk with the guy that much. I’m just saying that our bodies aren’t the same than in the simulation.” She sighed. “Also, why don’t guys just  _ talk _ when they have problem, it’s not that hard !”

 

Koizumi was right, of course she was, and Hinata ended up knockin on Komaeda’s door, determined to have The Talk, promising himself that he wouldn’t falter, wouldn’t let himself be seduced or riled up by Komaeda’s antics, wouldn’t become embarrassed or angry. He was a well-adjusted person, he could do it.

 

“Hinata ?” Komaeda opened the door, his face showing surprise at his appearance.

 

He was wearing his jacket, and now that Hinata thought about it, he hadn’t seen Komaeda without it ever since he had woken up. Even when Hinata had been working on his robot hand. Maybe Koizumi hit the bull’s eyes, he realized. He had never taken Komaeda for someone self-conscious, but he could be wrong.

 

“We need to talk,” Hinata said, and when he saw the other’s eyes widen, he thought the he could have picked different words. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing too serious.”

 

At least, he hoped.

 

Komaeda nodded tentatively, and let him in. His cabin was always so damn nicer than his own, it was always clean and it smelt… well, it smelt Komaeda, actually. Which was a smell that Hinata had almost developed a Pavlovian reflex to. He could sniff it all day, as strange as it sounded.

 

… anyway.

 

Komaeda was standing in the middle of the room, not asking any question with his mouth, but a thousand of them with his eyes, and Hinata knew that the time had come. He just wished he knew how to start the conversation.

 

“Uh…” he said ( great, very articulated ). “Aren’t you hot with your jacket ?”

 

“My… jacket ?” Komaeda looked at himself, as if he hadn’t realized he was wearing it. “No, I’m fine. I’m used to it, you know.”

 

“Would it bother you to take it off ?” He kept going, because even if it wasn’t the best path he could have chosen, now that he had started to follow it, he swore he wouldn’t back down.

 

Komaeda blinked, obviously confused. “Is there a reason you want me to take it off ?”

 

“Just trust me ? I’m trying to understand you better.”

 

It was low and manipulative,  _ dirty _ , even, but for all the times Komaeda had been a manipulative little shit, he wasn't feeling that guilty about it. Also, it wasn’t entirely a lie.

 

Conflicted, Komaeda played with the sleeves of his jacket, looking right at Hinata. Suddenly, his eyes lights up with understanding.

 

“Are you that bothered by our lack of sexual activities ?” he asked, as blunt as ever.

 

And great. Now he sounded like a jerk who was trying to force his boyfriend into something he didn’t want to.

 

“No”, he said calmly, since the cat was out of the bag anyway. “I’m just wondering why you hide your body so much. You do know that I’m… attracted to you, right ?”

 

Komaeda snickered, and Hinata could have almost thought he was starting to relax if his hands weren’t tightened around his jacket’s fabric.

 

“Yes, Hinata, you made it abundantly clear” he said, smiling. “I’m still mind-blown by this fact, but I guess I should just consider I’ve been very lucky.”

 

“Okay, well, I’m allowed to find you hot since we’re dating and all,” he said, and he could feel his cheeks burning, and how did he even think he could go through this discussion without some dose of humiliation ? “I’m just saying, whatever you think I’m going to find repulsive, I won’t. I swear. Like, even if you have a third nipple or no belly button.”

 

Komaeda was still smiling. “That’s very sweet, Hinata. But I think you misunderstood the situation. I don’t have any kind of deformity, and I know you wouldn’t care, you’re too kind for that. But Hinata…”

 

His smile faltered. He was gripping the fabric of his jacket so tightly that it was about to be ripped apart.

 

“.. I have scars”, he said after taking a deep breath.

 

Hinata waited for a few seconds, wondering if there was more, but nothing.

 

“Don’t we all ?” he inquired. “I mean, after everything we’ve been through… you really shouldn’t feel bad about it.”

 

Himself didn’t have anything - Kamukura was  _ that _ good apparently - beside a ugly scars on the top of his head that he needed two mirrors to see and was kinda hidden by his hair anyway, but he knew that everyone else on the island had some physical sequels from the Tragedy and the following events.”

 

Komaeda bit the inside of his cheeks, and Hinata thought that he would pay anything, just to know what was wrong, and how to fix it.

 

“I don’t care about them.” he said. “I just don’t want you to see them, and you don’t want to see them either.”

 

Hinata felt some irritation rising. “I think I can decide for myself, right ?”

 

Komaeda hesitated, then shrugged, and the next moment, he had taken off his jacket, letting it fall on the floor. At first, Hinata couldn’t see anything but the white skin of his arms, until the other pointed out thin paler scars running on his forearm. Hinata held his breath, an uncomfortable feeling pooling inside his chest.

 

“Is it…” he started, not managing to let the rest out.

 

“No.” Komaeda said matter-of-factly. “It’s not. It’s something stupid that I did a long time ago, when I thought I could control my luck. I thought that doing that would count as ‘bad luck’, I guess,” he laughed, and it was so devoid of joy and Hinata’s head hurt. “I was… really stupid back then. Luck isn’t something you can control like that, right ?”

 

Komaeda didn’t let Hinata the time to answer or recover. He took off his shirt, and Hinata couldn’t breath because it was the first time since they were back in the real world that he saw Komaeda’s chest, and it shouldn’t have been be so sad, because there was a large burn on his belly, that disappeared behind his back.

 

“This” he said “is from an airplane crash when I was in Hope’s Peak. I’m selfish. I knew what would happen, and I still went. Everyone died except for me. And this” he kept going, pointing at a smaller mark near his heart, “well, you know what that is, right ?”

 

Hinata’s blood runs cold.

 

“When I… when Kamukura… shot you ?” he whispered. “I didn’t know it had let a mark.”

 

Komaeda gave him a serious look.

 

“Everything leaves a scar. Even a Hope’s Peak handbook.”

He took off his pants, and there was another set of white scars that Komaeda had probably inflicted to himself. There was also two bigger scars on his thighs, ugly and still very much visible. He chuckled while seeing them.

 

“There are from Towa. Fukawa and Naegi’s sister gave them to me, and I think I didn’t bother clean it up. No one did. It’s a wonder I didn’t get some kind of infection from them, right ?”

 

“Komaeda…” Hinata tried to say “You don’t have to…”

 

“No !” he cut him off, still smiling. “I’m fine. I know who I am, and I was selfish for keeping that away from you. Look at what you have when you have me, Hinata.” his smile turns ugly. “Isn’t it beautiful ?”

 

“ _ Shut up _ ! Yes, it’s fucking beautiful, so shut up !” he yelled.

 

The other boy shrugged once again, unbothered.

 

“I’m not done.” Komaeda’s voice was so cold by then and Hinata couldn’t believe how far away the conversation had strayed. He didn’t even get what his boyfriend was trying to say and he was starting to think he didn’t want to understand.

 

He watched him fight with his robotic hand for a few seconds, before the device fell on the floor, joining the jacket. Komaeda was breathless, still standing in the middle of the room as if it was a god damn show, and his missing hand created a weird disparity in his figure. Still, Hinata did his best to not say anything, looking straight at Komaeda.

 

“And of course, this”, he said. “I did it myself. I wanted to. Do you want to know why ?”

 

“No” Hinata said firmly. “I don’t.”

 

Because it didn’t matter.

 

“Hm-hm” Komaeda smiled brightly “It was so easy, you know. So easy to scare you off, I have to be really careful about that, all the time. I guess two months were… something, right? Trying to hide so much is exhausting at the end. Let’s break up, alright ?”

 

“Wh… what ? What do you mean ?”

 

How. How did it happen, why did he have to open his stupid mouth. He felt panic rise in his chest. Komaeda was so, so calm in comparison, and Hinata felt so damn angry because he was trying to break up without even stopping to smile.

 

“I mean that you’re easy to read. You want me to dress, and you want me to put my hand back, and you want me to talk to other people about their days and their hobbies, and you want me to stop talking about my luck and anytime I talk about it you remind me that you’re here to balance it as if it erased everything, and you don’t want me to talk about hope and despair because it’s bad for me, and Towa, and everything we did when we were in despair because it wasn’t us anyway, and every people who are dead because I was here, and would be happy if I wasn’t.” Komaeda’s voice was shaking by now. “Hinata, you are really not good with scars. And it’s just” his hand made a gesture in direction of his body “everything I am. And I managed to trick you for a while, but that’s over.”

 

Hinata breathed out slowly once Komaeda was done. He had five seconds to react, and why was being with Komaeda such complicated thing ? He was angry at himself for thinking that everything was fine.

 

“You are not letting your past destroy your future” he said, firmly. “If you really want to break up, I won’t force you to stay - I can’t. But I love you. And these five minutes, as uncomfortable they were for me, don’t change anything about it.”

 

“Ah, you’re saying that !” Komaeda clapped his hands together, amused. “Alright, then. We can forget what just happened, if you want, does it sound good ? You can leave now, and when I’ll see you next time I’ll be just like you want me, and we’ll kiss again, longer since you won’t try to touch me everywhere anymore. That sounds nice, right ?”

 

He couldn’t win like that, he realized. Komaeda was stubborn and he knew Hinata so much more than himself knew him and this was endlessly frustrating him. He looked at Komaeda’s scars, at his missing hand, and he wondered if Komaeda was right somewhere, if Hinata needed to stop running away from everything he didn’t want to face. Scars, uh ? That was a word for it.

 

He took a deep breath and looked at his boyfriend.

 

“I’m leaving, if that’s what you want. But next time we end up kissing like last time, I’ll still try to touch you. Because you’re my boyfriend and you’re super hot.”

 

Komaeda chuckled but there was no light in his eyes.

 

“Then I’ll stop you again.”

 

“Okay.” Hinata said. “It’s fine. I hope one day you’ll feel comfortable enough to allow me that. In the meantime, I’ll focus on what I have.” And his smile was more genuine than he thought it would be. “It’s beautiful. Scars included.”

 

He thought he saw something flicker in Komaeda’s eyes, but it was so brief and one second later, it was already gone.

 

“You should really take an easier path” the other sighed, putting a hand in front of his face, and Hinata imagined that he was trying to hide a smile.

 

“I can’t” he said. “You’ wouldn’t be on it.”

  
  
  


*

 

**2.**

 

When Nagito Komaeda, age 17, set up an elaborate murder plan to win against Despair and save Hope in Jabberwock Island’s warehouse, he was ready to die. He had all the time to think about a hundred reasons why his death was necessary and long-awaited, and while his pain-riddled brain regretted the suffering, death was welcomed like an old friend.

 

Actually, as he was laying on the warehouse’s floor crying, bleeding from his thighs, the cord of the spear burning the skin of fingers, he couldn’t wait for death to take him away. Maybe, if life had been kinder to him, he would have had this last, desperate attempt at  saving himself, the way people who just swallowed an entire box of pills try to throw them up before it’s too late.

 

He hadn’t.

 

It was hard to pinpoint the moment where he started wanting to live. He had been hard to bring back from between the dead, that much was true. But even after that, he had felt so empty. Like a ghost, who wandered around without purpose, too unlucky to rest, too hopeless to live.

 

“Why did you bring me back ?” He asked Hinata, once, days after he has been forcefully woken him up from the program, and his voice was raspy from spending his days in silence. “I was better off dead. There is nothing for me here.”

 

Hinata had stared at Komaeda, with no expression on his face. The scar on his forehead was ugly and red, from Hinata scratching it so much. Komaeda wished he didn’t have to see it all the time.

 

“There is everything for you here,” Hinata had simply said. “We are all barely starting our fight, Komaeda. It’s not going to be easy, but I think it’s worth it.”

 

“I don’t,” Komaeda had replied. “And I’m tired of fighting.”

 

Hinata had sighed, then. He looked so tired.

 

“Then kill yourself, if you’re such a coward. I didn’t take you for one, but it wouldn’t be the first thing I was wrong about something.”

 

Later, in the evening, Hinata had come to Komaeda’s room, looking panicked, explaining that he didn’t want Komaeda to kill himself, and that he shouldn’t have said that, and that he was  _ so  _ exhausted that sometimes, he wished he had just decided to live in the Neo World Program because, at least, he wouldn’t have to see his scar all the time, and god did he wanted to know how he could live with himself after everything he had done.

 

That night, they slept in Komaeda’s cabin, Hinata on a mattress on the floor. And if Komaeda still didn’t have a purpose, still didn’t have a will to live, and still wished he was dead, at least Hinata was suffering too, and it was something.

 

Not being alone, after all of this, was something.

 

He had spent a lot of time looking at Hinata’s sleeping face in the morning, and he had even grazed his scar with the tip of his fingers. It was ugly, there was nothing one could do about it, but it was just a scar, and maybe if Hinata stopped touching it so much, then it would eventually fade away.

 

Five years later, when he noticed an envelope with the General Hospital’s crest on it, that has been slipped under his door when he wasn’t there, he immediately knew what it was. With shaky hands, he picked it up, his real thumb caressing the letters of his name on it.

Hinata, he thought. He had to see Hinata.

 

“Come in.” Hinata’s voice welcomed him when he knocked on the other’s door. He opened it to find Hinata, reading some kind of file, sitting on the carpet in front of the coffee table. The room’s inhabitant smiled at him. “Hey, Nagito. What’s up ?”

 

Wordlessly, Komaeda showed him the envelope. Hinata’s eyes went wide.

 

“Are… are they… what I think they are ?” Komaeda nodded, too scared to say anything that would betray how tense he was.

 

There was nothing he wouldn’t have given for the envelope to be the bearer of good news. One part of him hated that he actually had  _ hopes  _ for himself. His hopes had always been weak, easily crushed by his luck. A little voice in his brain whispered to him that there was no reason for this time to be different.

 

“Did you open it ?”

 

Once again, Komaeda silently replied ‘no’. Hinata took a deep breath, and gestured for Komaeda to come closer. With one hand, he slipped his fingers between Komaeda’s. With the other, he took the envelope, looking at it with a mix of fear and excitement.

 

“Do you want me to open it ?” Hinata asked with a breathy voice. He nodded.

 

“I wanted to do it with you.” Somehow, Hinata’s anxiety calmed his own a bit. “Let’s finish it the way we started it - together.”

 

Hinata squeezed his fingers then let them go, then they both sat next to each other. With trembling hands, Hinata opened the envelope, and his eyes started to read what was in it. 

 

Komaeda felt like his heart stopped beating during the two seconds needed for Hinata to deliver the verdict.

 

Hinata’s eyes fluttered. He let out a strangled sob and, unable to say anything, he shoved the piece of paper in Komaeda’s hands whose eyes fell immediately on the words that he has been hoping for for such a long time.

 

‘ _ The patient is considered in remission _ ’

 

Before he could say anything or react in any way, Hinata threw his arms around him in the most bones-crushing hug someone had ever given to him. Almost like a robot, not yet realizing that  _ he was in remission, it was over, everything he went through wasn’t for nothing… _

It was like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, and he felt so light, light, light…

 

“You did it,” Hinata whispered against his ear, fierce and proud, and ecstatic. “You fucking did it, Nagito. You’re a survivor.”

 

“We both are,” Komaeda replied without missing a beat.

 

He gave a ‘thank you’ kiss to the - now white - scar on Hinata’s forehead, and they spent the rest of the night embracing each other, too delirious and invincible to want to let go and face the rest of the world at this instant.

 

Tomorrow will come, and with it, the next fight, but for now they were winners, and the rest could wait.

 

*

 

**3.**

 

When Hinata woke up, on this peaceful morning more than fifteen years after the Tragedy, it was four o’clock, there was no one lying on the bed next to him, and he could see that the lights were on in the bathroom. He was cold and tired, but he stirred and motivated himself enough to get out of bed. The bathroom’s door wasn’t locked, and he just had to push the door to open it.

 

“Nagito ?” He mumbled, still half-asleep. “Are you okay ?”

 

Komaeda raised his head toward him, and Hinata needed less than a second to understand that no, he wasn’t okay. It was not just the red circles around the other’s eyes, or the way he was holding his legs against his chest in a protective gesture, or the traces of vomit around the toilet bowl. No, what really punched Hinata through the guts was the way Komaeda’s eyes lowered as soon as they met Hinata’s, in a stubborn way to keep him out of whatever was going on inside his head.

 

They weren’t supposed to do it anymore. They have been together for so long, there was nothing to hide. They had seen the worst and the best, and all that was in-between already. So Hinata knelt next to Komaeda and took his face between his two hands.

 

“Hey, are you sick ?” he asked. “I can get you some medicine, if you want.”

Komaeda pushed his hands away and shook his head.

 

“It’s alright. It’s nothing. I had a nightmare, I didn’t want to wake you up. All this” he waved his robotic hand in the general direction of the room. “It’s supposed to be behind us, right ?”

 

“It will never be, Nagito.” Hinata sighed. “We are doing well, but we can’t just erase a part of our memory like that. Everything we’ve been through, it’s a part of us. It’s up to us if we use it to make us stronger or weaker.”

 

“You talk like our last last therapist.”

 

Hinata smiled

.

“I may or may not have an amazing memory. Her advice weren’t all that terrible.” He sat, cross-legged, in front of the other. “Do you want to talk about it ? Was it about the island ?”

 

“No.” Komaeda said. “It’s stupid. I just thought… it’s going to be my birthday next week. I’ll be thirty-three.”

 

“Don’t think I forgot.” Hinata replies playfully. “But it’s true you’re starting to get old. I even think I saw a white hair the other day.”

 

The tentative smile on the other’s lips was a victory for Hinata. It disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, though.

 

“I was just thinking,” Komaeda added, “that my mother died at thirty two. In one week I’ll be older than my mother ever was. That’s so weird… it probably woke up some nightmares.”

 

“Oh,” Hinata said.

 

“It’s just… a thought. But it turned into an obsession with time” Komaeda explained. “I can’t help but think about how different my life would be if that hadn’t happen. I wouldn’t have been in Hope’s Peak. Maybe I would have died during the Events ? I would have never met you, either.”

 

Hinata hummed, and tried to comfort Komaeda by drawing pattern on the bare skin of his thighs. He wasn’t sure how much he could help. Everything that happened before Hope’s Peak in the other’s life was not something Hinata was totally sure to understand, no matter how much Komaeda told him about.

 

“Do you think you would be happier ?” He asked.

 

He wondered, sometimes, too, about his own choice. How different would things have been if he hadn’t signed up for the Kamukura project ? Would he have died along the rest of the Reserve Course ? Through the years, he had stopped to blame himself for Hope’s Peak mistakes. Not that it had been easy.

 

“No.” Komaeda replied with a strangled laugh. “That’s why it’s awful. Despite everything, I’ve never been happier than with you. Everything we’ve been through, the end of the world, the Tragedy, my… my parents’ death… I would go through it again if that meant I could be just where I am today, in this bathroom in the middle of the night, crying my eyes out because of some stupid nightmare.” He fell quiet for a second, a shiver running through his body. “How terrifying it is to think that way ?”

 

“I’m happy too.” Hinata said, squeezing the other’s leg with his hand. “I’m happy with you, too.”

 

“But isn’t that scary ? I settled in this happiness, the way I settled into it as a child and…”

 

“Komaeda.”

 

“… this kind of happiness isn’t supposed to be for me…”

 

“Komaeda !”

 

“… if you ever disappeared, I couldn’t get over it. I’m not as strong as I was before, as when I had a child, I don’t think I could ever…”

 

“Komaeda !” Hinata ended up yelling and shaking him up by the shoulders. “I’m not. Going. Anywhere.”

 

Komaeda’s lips moved for a few more seconds, without a sound coming out of them. Then the tears started pouring out again.

 

“I’m so in love with you and that scares me half-to-death. I just refuse to imagine myself without you anymore.”

 

Hinata’s arms slid behind Komaeda’s body and he just held his shaking and sobbing body in the most awkward way ever. He just wanted the other to let it all out if that’s what it took, and he just stayed there, whispered sweet nothings into Komaeda’s ear, and waited for him to calm down.

 

If he cried a little, too, no one noticed.


	3. Sharing a home

**1.**

 

“It’s still pouring down outside,” Hinata noted, looking through the window. “It’s been hours now, the road should be blocked by the water. Which means I’m not letting you go back to your home tonight, got it ?”

 

Komaeda seemed so dejected by the new that Hinata almost felt insulted by it. Almost, of course, because Komaeda’s anguish wasn’t about spending the night at Hinata’s flat. It was, as always, about bothering Hinata.

 

“I’m really sorry,” he said, curling a little more on the couch, his long legs folded against his chest. “I should have been gone hours ago, now I’m going to force you to change your program for my sake…”

 

_ What program _ ? Hinata wondered, thinking that he could just as well eat a cup of instant noodle and watch Netflix with Komaeda around - except for detective stories, because Komaeda just couldn’t shut up when he was invested in a story and spoiled the final twist half of the time. He didn’t have the most exciting life.

 

“It’s cool. I’ll lend you something to sleep in, don’t worry about it.” He tried to shrug it off.

 

But Komaeda clearly didn’t want to shrug it off, for he lowered his head between his legs, mumbling about his, and what a terrible human being he was, and how god, was it a headache that Hinata felt coming ? It sure was.

 

“Komaeda…” he warned.

 

“... can’t believe I’m forcing you to… I should have known… I wonder if it’s bad luck… but I’m so selfish…”

 

Hinata crossed his arms in front of his chest.

 

“How highly do you think of yourself to think that you control the weather ?” He interjected. “For fuck’s sake, you are the one making a mountain out of nothing.”

 

He could have been talking to the wall, for all Komaeda cared.

 

“… unforgivable…”

 

“Komaeda.”

 

“… the shamelessness…”

 

“Komaeda !”

 

“… How am I going to…”

 

Hinata pinched his nose in annoyance.

 

“Komaeda, do you want to cuddle ?”

 

That was super effective, and not only Komaeda stopped talking down to himself, but Hinata saw his face curiously appear from behind his knees.

 

“What ?”

 

“Cuddle.” Hinata repeated. “Can we cuddle ? You look like you need it.”

 

For a few seconds, Komaeda pondered the question, and Hinata honestly wondered what was going on inside his pretty little head - as painful as Komaeda’s monologues could be, he always felt the more anxious when he couldn’t hear it. Finally, Komaeda let himself fall on the couch, in a clear invitation for Hinata to come and hold him.

 

Hinata sighed, and managed to slide between Komaeda’s body - still rolled up into a ball - and the back of the couch. It was cramped as hell, but he still managed to spoon the other boy properly. Komaeda squirmed a bit against him, trying to find a better position, and Hinata tightened his hold on the other’s waist.

 

“Feeling better ?”

 

“Maybe,” Komaeda replied, his voice still a little weak. “Ask me again in ten minutes.”

 

Hinata blew some air on Komaeda’s pale neck, and swallowed back a chuckle when Komaeda tried to escape him.  _ Ticklish, huh _ ?

 

“You’ll be asleep in ten minutes, I know you.” Hinata said.

 

Komaeda’s only answer was a happy hum.

 

*

 

**2.**

 

Living alone has always been Hinata’s thing. Even back when he lived with his parents, he needed some time for himself where, hidden between the walls of his room, he could be face-to-face with his own thoughts. So, as soon as he was allowed to get his own flat and move away, he jumped on the opportunity.

 

That didn’t mean he was lonely : there was rarely a week that went on without Souda or Kuzuryuu dropping by, without Nanami calling him to gush endlessly about a new game, without Koizumi suggesting a quick coffee date for lunch, since they were both working in the same society.

 

Yet, Hinata lived alone, and he loved it. So one could wonder why he was in the middle of an existential crisis at 3 AM in the morning, sitting on the edge of his bathtub, thinking that maybe after three years of pleasant loneliness, it was time to end it.

 

It was, as was everything else in Hinata’s life, Komaeda’s fault.

 

They met a few months after Hinata stated working for Future Foundation, and Komaeda had been quick to get under his skin, in more ways than one. After months of sexual tension-filled banters, and exhilarating make-out sessions, they ended up on Hinata’s couch, half watching the movie they had put on TV, and half grinding against each other like horny teenagers.

Hinata had never appreciated living alone as much as at this exact moment.

 

Komaeda didn’t spend the night despite Hinata’s suggestion, and he tried to brush off the surprising feeling of disappointment that he felt watching his boyfriend run through the door to try and catch the last bus to get home.

 

He did spend the night a few weeks later, though. It was the middle of winter, a snow storm has been raging all days, and they both knew buses wouldn’t be on the roads that night. They had found a nice way to stay warm under the covers, and Hinata managed to find a spare toothbrush for Komaeda to use before they shared a morning kiss the day after. Getting breakfast together was stupidly domestic, but Hinata didn’t mind as much as he thought he would.

 

After all, that didn’t change the fact that he lived alone.

 

_ Right ? _

 

“Hajime, are you okay ? The bed is cold without you.” Komaeda’s voice broke Hinata out of his thoughts, and he blinked a few times before focusing on the worried expression on his boyfriend face.

  
  


He looked all sleepy, barefoot and wrapped up in his favorite fluffy blanket. Hinata smiled, and glanced back at what had led to his internal freak-out : the toothbrush next to his on the lavabo. It wasn’t one of Hinata’s spare, it was Komaeda’s. He was sure of that.

 

“Hey, Nagito, tell me something.” Komaeda, not unlike an attentive animal, tilted his head on the side. “Are we living together ?”

 

The last few weeks of their relationship played on repeat inside his head. Komaeda slept in his bed more nights than in his own, they started sharing the bill for the groceries, and Hinata knew everything about Komaeda’s daily routine. He had given Komaeda a key to his flat and it wasn’t uncommon that he came back from work greeted by a ‘welcome home’ and a quick kiss on the cheek.

 

Komaeda moved closer and sat next to him, on the edge of the bathtub. He buried his head against Hinata’s neck. Hinata felt Komaeda’s next words against his skin more than he heard them.

 

“Not completely. Do you want to ?” He whispered, and Hinata imagined that he could heard anticipation and hope in the other’s tone.

 

Almost as a reflex, Hinata raised his hand and ran his fingers through Komaeda’s hair, smiling when he felt his boyfriend shiver in pleasure against him.

 

Hinata loved to live alone, that was true. But maybe… if it meant he could be here, in the middle of the night, cuddling with Komaeda while sitting on a uncomfortable bathtub after a stupid freak-out over a toothbrush, then maybe it was worth the trade.

 

“For all the differences it will make,” he finally replied easily, “sure, let’s move in together. Officially.”

 

He heard what sounded suspiciously like a chuckle from Komaeda, then his boyfriend stood up, grinning like an idiot.

 

An idiot that Hinata was now living with. Officially. Komaeda held out his hand for Hinata to take it.

 

“Now that this is settled, let’s go back to our bed, Hajime.”

 

Hinata didn’t hesitate before reaching for the other’s hand.

 

*

 

**3.**

 

Komaeda woke up in the middle of the night when he heard the front door open. His sleep-riddled brain needed a few seconds to remember that Hinata was supposed to come back this day from mission, and he buried his head in his pillow, trying to get comfortable.

 

Silently, Hinata slipped in the bed next to him, covering them both properly with the blanket, then smiled when he noticed that Komaeda was awake. He kissed him hello on the corner of his lips. “Missed you,” he whispered.

 

“Missed you too,” Komaeda replied, his voice a bit raspy. He closed his eyes, hoping to rest even better now that Hinata was back - he couldn’t help it, his brain was always running in the strangest directions anytime he was with Future Foundation.

 

Yet, sleep escaped him again when he noticed that Hinata was turning, and turning again on his side of the bed. “Something wrong ?” He asked quietly.

 

“Sorry, it’s nothing. Just a bit winded up from everything. I’m exhausted, but my body just won’t let me sleep.” As to prove his words, Hinata stifled a yawn.

 

“Want to talk about it ?”

 

“There is nothing to say, really.”

 

Komaeda raised an eyebrow. There was no way he was going to let Hinata in that state if he could help it.

 

“Want me to help you unwind ?” He suggested

 

Hinata didn’t reply, which Komaeda took for a yes. He turned around, back facing Hinata, and reached for the lubricant in their nightstand. He felt a soft hand on his hip, half-hearted attempt to stop him.

 

“You’re tired, you’re not up for sex.”

 

“I’m up for  _ some  _ things.”

 

In the dark, he had a hard time gathering the right amount of lube in his hands, though he had known from the start that his plan would make a mess. Quickly, he wiped his palms between his thighs, coating them with the substance, then looked over his shoulder, at Hinata.

 

“Come here,” he breathed out, taking Hinata’s hand to guide it between his legs. “You can fuck my thighs, I don’t mind.”

 

Hnata kissed the nape of his neck and mumbled a quick ‘thank you’, then he dragged his already half-hard dick against the clef of Komaeda’s ass, encouraged by his low humming. Going lower, he parted his boyfriend’s thighs just enough for him to slip between them, and let out a satisfied groan.

 

“You’re doing good, Hajime…” Komaeda whispered when he felt the other move faster. He couldn’t muster the energy to get hard himself, but it wasn’t unpleasant, even a bit soothing. Hinata working between his legs without caring for his own pleasure was satisfying a part of himself that he had given up a long time ago, mostly because of Hinata himself.

 

“Nagito,” Hinata gasped against his hair, as Komaeda slowly moved his hips in order to follow his moves. “ _ Love you _ .”

 

Komaeda smiled for himself, and closed his eyes. He could fall asleep, just like that, with Hinata’s sweet words in his ears, and the delightful feeling of being used that way. He wondered if Hinata would keep going even if he was unconscious. He was so warm, right now, it wouldn’t be hard to find out and…

 

Before he could realize this selfish fantasy, Hinata came with his fingers digging in Komaeda’s hips, holding him in place. Komaeda could hear how quick his heartbeat was, but his entire body relaxed, and he started peperring shallow kisses on Komaeda’s shoulders.

 

_ Hum… _ he thought confusedly,  _ it’s not that bad to be awake for this part _ .

 

Then, he was out like a light.

 

He really hoped Hinata would take the time to clean them up before he fall asleep.


	4. The end of loneliness

**1.**

 

“Welcome to my home, Hinata-kun !” Komaeda announced after he opened the door.

 

The white-haired boy was doing his best to pretend that it wasn’t a big deal, but Hinata could see the other’s flustered expression and his shaking hands. He smiled, wondering why he was so anxious about this : Hinata wasn’t  _ that _ rude. He wasn’t about to criticize the paintings on the wall or the mess in the kitchen.

 

“Thanks !” He replied, taking a first step in the house. “That’s really…”

 

He was about to say ‘nice’ or whatever word someone who comments on someone else’s house uses when they want to be friendly, but the word died in his throat.

 

_ Lonely _ .

 

Hinata blinked in front of the empty, huge room in front of him. On one corner of the room, he could see the open kitchen, with one chair only, and one set of cutlery already in place on top of the table. A huge, intimidating fridge, too, that Hinata guessed almost entirely empty - Komaeda didn’t cook, he knew that.

 

On the other corner, a television screen that could have been a theater one, with a white, immaculate couch in front of it. With one pillow on it.

 

There was no pictures on the wall, nowhere. Hinata didn’t know if he was surprised that Komaeda didn’t have pictures of his parents around, but he had at least expected a few decorative objects here and there.

 

“… clean.” He finished his sentence.

 

Komaeda beamed at him in the most heartbreaking way.

 

“Haha, thanks ! Really, cleaning is all I’m good for, but I’m glad I’m not forcing you to stay in a dirty place, Hinata.” His smile faltered a little. “Not that you have to stay long or anything. There is not a lot of fun things in here.”

 

Yeah, Hinata could have guessed that. He shrugged.

 

“It’s nice” he said, trying his best to mean it. “I’ll stay for now, if that’s okay.”

 

*

 

**2.**

 

“Can I open my eyes yet ?”

 

“No” Hinata answered, a smile in his voice “Stop being so impatient. Give me two minutes.”

 

Komaeda resisted the urge to open his eyes, even a little, because he knew Hinata would notice. He felt his boyfriend open his robotic hand to take care of the weird clicking noise which had appeared a few days before.

 

He wasn’t sure why Hinata had asked him to close his eyes, for it wasn’t the first time they were doing this, and watching Hinata’s face when he was working was a more pleasant way to waste his time than focusing on his arm.

 

“I know where the problem is, I have to replace a piece.” Hinata commented.

 

“I trust you,” he replied.

 

The next moment he felt a pair of soft lips in the corner of his mouth and almost opened his eyes out of surprise. He didn’t have the time to react in any way that Hinata was already gone, back to his task.

 

“You’re so unfair, Hajime” he sighed, pretending to be hurt, but the use of his first name didn’t let any doubt on his true feelings. “I want you to kiss me properly.”

 

“Oh, do you ?” Komaeda heard a new metallic sound, something rattling against his cold fingers. “Don’t worry,” he said, his tone suddenly way lower than before, “I will.”

 

Komaeda shivered. He didn’t dare to say anything, scared that his voice would reflect the desire running through his body. Even if it was Hinata’s goal, that was still embarrassing.

 

“I’m done” Hinata said. There was something like a hesitation in his voice. “Listen, I think it’s fine, but if you don’t like it, I’m taking it off.”

 

_ Taking it off _ ? That wasn’t like Hinata to be so unsure about his skills. He heard his boyfriend take a deep breath.

 

“You can open your eyes,” he said.

 

The first thing Komaeda saw was Hinata’s anxious face. The second was his hand. And more particularly the ring that Hinata had slipped on his finger. Surprised he moved his hand and the sunlight lit up the ring for one second.

 

“It’s… it’s…” Komaeda just couldn’t not look at it. It wasn’t a joke at all, Hinata wouldn’t do that. They have been together for so long and now… and now Hinata wanted them to be together for the rest of their life, right ?

 

That was what it was, right ? He felt his heart pounding against his chest.

 

“So, I thought it suited you,” Hinata started. “Again, I can totally take it off if you want, it’s fine, it won’t change anything but-”

“You’re kidding, right, I’m keeping it!” he replied quickly, almost offended. He finally managed to tear his eyes off the ring and looked at Hinata who was smiling tentatively after his outburst.

 

“Good” he said. “It really… suits you.” the same word, but the same hesitation too, as if he didn’t know what to say. Maybe it hadn’t been as romantic as he wanted, Komaeda thought. 

 

But it was okay.

 

Komaeda stared at the ring, playing with the light’s reflection.

 

“Yes,” he said. “It does.”

 

*

 

**3.**

 

“Grrrr,” Hinata roared in the most threatening way possible, smiling when he saw the girl he was chasing run away from him. “I’ll destroy everything !”

 

He kicked a pile of pillows and sent them fly against the wall, making the little girl shriek in fear and delight. Bravely, she eventually stood in front of him.

 

“I’ll stop you, you evil monster ! You aren’t allowed to destroy everything ! I’ll be a hero and I’ll save everyone !”

 

She grabbed her dolls, plunging between the pillows to save them, and clutching them against her chest.

 

“All resistance is futile” Hinata replied, cornering the girl between the couch and the coffee table. “No one can stand against me !”

 

And at the moment where it seemed that all hope was lost, they both heard noises coming from the front door.

 

“Dad is back !” screamed the girl, sliding her frail body between Hinata’s legs in her way to the hall.

 

She didn’t slow down, threw herself at a surprised white-haired boy, and hugged his waist while mumbling against the fabric of his pants some unintelligible words.

 

“Good evening, Sachiko” Nagito Komaeda said, taking his daughter in his arms. “What’s happening ?”

 

“Dad is an evil monster who wants to destroy the world !” she replied seriously.

 

Komaeda laughed

 

“Oh, yes, he does that sometimes, I should have told you.” He put his daughter on the floor and held out his hand for her to take it. “It’s okay, I know his secret weakness, I can stop him !”

 

Sachiko opened wide, suspicious eyes.

 

“Can you ?”

 

“Of course !” Komaeda replied. “I can’t do it without you, though ! Will you help me ?”

 

The little girl nodded decisively, holding her puppets even closer.

 

They both entered the living room, where Hinata was peacefully laying on top of the mess of pillows he had created earlier. He raised his head when he saw his husband and his daughter.

 

“Who comes here ? Brave adventurers, who want to defeat me ?” he said, playfully throwing a pillow at them.

 

“Ready, Sachiko ?” Komaeda said. “One, two…”

 

“THREE !” screamed the child, jumping on Hinata before he got the time to stand up.

 

She made a  _ ‘pouf’  _ when she landed on her dad’s chest who tried to not grimaced in pain, but this slight uncomfortable feeling was replaced by so, so much worse when Sachiko put Komaeda’s plan in action and started to tickle him with her little fingers, until he was squirming on the floor.

 

“No… no, stop that Sachiko !” he said between two fits of laughter. “Such… evil plan…”

 

“Well, I’m your daughter after all” the girl replied before sticking her tongue at him, his fingers still moving against his ribs.

 

“Don’t forget the kisses, Sachiko !” Komaeda told her. “Nothing defeats evil better than kisses !”

 

Laughing, Sachiko started to pepper Hinata’s face with sloppy kisses, until Hinata had no choice but to admit defeat.

 

“It’s okay, I’m not evil anymore ! Your tickling and kissing spells saved me !” he gasped.

 

After a few seconds, she stopped her torture, offering him a toothy grin.

 

“Good ! I like you better when you’re nice !”

 

Very satisfied with herself, she started to rebuild her city of pillows. Hinata watched her for a moment before turning his head toward Komaeda, who seemed way too happy for someone who had just manipulated a five-years old girl into attacking her father.

 

“Nothing defeats evil better than kisses ?” He mocked. “Why, Nagito, we’ll make a sap out of you.”

 

Komaeda moved closer and pecked Hinata’s lips.

 

“Well, she is only five. I’m waiting one more year before telling him everything. Let’s stick with tickles and kisses for now, alright ?”

 

Hinata hummed.

 

“Sound good to me.”


	5. Exhibitionism

**1.**

 

_This is terrible idea_ , Hinata thought when he felt Komaeda’s hand travel between his thighs. _Kuzuryuu isn’t going to be happy_.

 

He wasn’t happy at all when he surprised them both in the swimming pool two days before, making out like if their life was on stake, rutting against each other in bliss.

 

They didn’t have the time to finish anything, and they still had been forced to clean up the pool. Under Koizumi’s surveillance, since they were apparently unable to keep their hands away from each other. In Hinata’s opinion, none of his friends had any compassion for his situation of 22-years old virgin ( well, _almost_ virgin, it would be a lie to say that Komaeda and him had never done anything at all ), or they wouldn’t try so hard to sabotage him like that.

 

Hinata felt Komaeda’s hand move toward his belt, and he quickly caught it, glaring at the white-haired boy before tilting his head in the others’ direction. “Not here,” he mouthed, hoping that his boyfriend would get the message.

 

Said boyfriend gave him a shit-eating grin. He didn’t get the message. And Kuzuryuu was already throwing them nasty looks from over the table. From all the people on the island, Hinata would have expected more understanding from the yakuza, with him being finally reunited with Pekoyama and all, but when Hinata had tried to bond over their common sexual frustration, Kuzuryuu was ridiculously uncooperative.

 

_“No, I don’t think about sex with Peko for now, because I actually respect her as a human being.”_ He had just said _._

 

The phrasing suggested that he didn’t think Hinata respected Komaeda, but it was totally wrong. He definitely respected Komaeda, all of him, and his friends were lucky he had some decency or he would be respecting Komaeda’s desires right in front of them if that wasn’t the case.

 

Komaeda started to play with his napkin, and Hinata should have known what he was planning, but his brain was probably not as irrigated as usual considering the amount of blood that has migrated south. He only got it when the napkin fell on the floor and Komaeda looked at him with a ‘oh, what a surprise’ expression that was so _fake_ it was barely a lie, that he got it, and didn’t make a noise when Komaeda disappeared under the table, kneeling in front of him, eager but waiting for Hinata to nod at him before doing anything.

 

And well, maybe Kuzuryuu was right. Maybe Hinata needed to start respecting Komaeda more, and he seemed so into it it would be a crime to deny him, right ? So he nodded lazily, and Komaeda’s eyes started to _burn_.

 

“ **_OH HELL NO !_ **”

 

The scream was so loud that Hinata jumped. He had the reflex to put his hand between Komaeda’s head and the table, and the pain he felt when his fingers were crushed was almost enough to kill his arousal. At the other side of the table, Kuzuryuu was red-faced, definitely too outraged for someone whose family had done _human trafficking_ as far as Hinata knew. Sonia, Koizumi and Kazuichi were also looking at them, with a face that expressed interest, annoyance and mild-disgust respectively.

 

Komaeda managed to scramble back on his chair, his pink cheeks the only sign that anything out-of-ordinary had happened, showing proudly his napkin to the audience.

 

“Here it is !” He said. “I’m so glad I didn’t lose it, this napkin is really important !”

 

Hinata nodded, aware of every eyes looking at him.

 

“Hum, yeah, it’s great, it’s such relief” He replied, fighting the urge to cough.

 

“Hinata. Komaeda.” Kuzuryuu said. “Out.”

 

They went out.

 

*

 

**2.**

 

“What the hell are you doing ?” Hinata whisper-yelled while pushing Komaeda against the wall, outside the restaurant.

 

It was not even 9 yet, and Komaeda was already getting under his skin in the most annoying way possible. For the entirety of the breakfast meeting, where Koizumi was explaining who was supposed to take care of cleaning what before the visit of Future Foundation, Komaeda has been very dedicated at pissing him off. He just couldn’t stay still, always moving at Hinata’s side, rubbing his thighs together while claiming he didn’t want to go to the bathroom, eating in the messiest, nastiest way possible, licking the honey of his fingers in such lewd way that Kuzuryu threw them ( as if Hinata had any part in it ! ) poisonous glares over the table, and just looking at Hinata with _those_ eyes, and _this_ smile.

 

Hinata couldn’t really explain what _these_ were exactly, but Komaeda knew the effect they had on him, and had turned them into a weapon. Which was why Hinata didn’t buy for one second the innocent look that his boyfriend gave him.

 

“What do you mean ? I’m going to the diner since cleaning it is my first task of the day. What about you ? Shouldn’t you be with Tsumiki at the hospital ?” He blinked, and Hinata was amazed by how genuine he sounded when he played the “I did nothing wrong” card.

 

As he was trying to walk away, Hinata caught him a little more violently by the shoulders and trapped him more efficiently against the wall. Still playing his part, the other smiled brightly.

 

“You know that I realized that we never had sex against a wall Hinata ?” he said. “Everyone is gone, we could try it here, don’t you think ?”

 

Hinata choked on his own saliva and lessened his grip on Komaeda, though the white-haired boy didn’t seem to run away from him anymore.

 

“What ?” he said. “I’m not having sex with you ! I’m angry at you !”

 

Komaeda rolled his eyes.

 

“You’re not angry at me, Hinata. When you’re angry you avoid me and sulk at the beach. You’re aroused,” he concluded, with a satisfied grin that made Hinata’s skin crawl.

 

He unconsciously moved even closer from Komaeda, absent-mindedly noting that he was so much warmer than usual. Almost as a reflex, the other boy melted against Hinata, their body espousing each other without difficulty,  and he wouldn’t have been surprised to hear him purr.

 

“Of course I’m aroused after your little display ! I’m angry because I’m aroused !”

 

“Hmm” Komaeda replied. “Okay then, let’s deal with this and you’ll stop being angry, right ?” His eyelids lowered in the most seductive way. “You’re sure you don’t want to have sex against the wall. That seems… exotic.”

 

Hinata’s face flushed. He remembered how, only three months ago, Komaeda still had some qualms showing the slightest hint of affection toward him. The first time he had decided to slip his hand into Hinata’s, one day where both of them had been enjoying some free time at the park, had been a huge step for their relationship.

 

Not that he wasn’t happy that Komaeda was now able to vocalize his desires but…

 

“Can you get your mind out of the gutter just one second ?” he said, getting more angry than he should to hide how quickly the other one had managed to turn the situation around - but then, what did he expect, it was Komaeda.

 

And he didn’t seem ready to stop, sighing dramatically before he managed to slide his hands along Hinata’s arms, until they were loosely gripping his shoulders, mirroring his position.

 

“It because” he said, his fingers playing with the collar of his shirt “you made me a sex addict, Hinata. I’m scared that can’t be help. You were too tired yesterday to fuck me nice and good so I had to make sure to rile you up this morning.”

 

How was he able to say this kind of thing with the same tone that he would use to talk about the weather, without a hint of shame on his face ? Hinata didn’t know.

 

“Oh my god, stop it !” he almost yelled, mortified. “You’re not blaming me for this stuff and - AH !”

 

Without a warning, Komaeda had jumped, high enough to wrap his legs around Hinata’s waist, using his shoulder as a support to up himself. Hinata just had the time to slam him against the wall to not lose his balance and to move his hands under the other’s ass to keep him where he was without hurting him.

 

He heard Komaeda’s laugh against his ear, though with the position they were in, there was no way Hinata could see his face.

 

“You did it, Hinata !” he said, ecstatic “You really can lift me !”

 

The stirring in his arms was saying something else, but he didn’t grace it with an answer.

 

“But I guess we should have taken our clothes off before, uh ?” he said, thoughtfully. “That won’t be easy to undress like that.”

 

“We are so not having sex like that” Hinata hissed. “No one can have sex like that.”

 

“I saw people who did it on the Internet” Komaeda replied matter-of-factly. “It seemed easy enough.”

 

_What even…_

 

“Well, it’s not the Internet, it’s the reality, and if you don’t want your ass on the floor in five seconds you better get down right now,” he snapped.

 

With an openly-disappointed face, Komaeda put his two feet on the ground and leaned away from Hinata who was keeping a firm hold on the other’s waist.

 

“Are you still angry at me ?” He said, smile bright and charming.

 

“Yes” Hinata replied, and it was only a half-lie.

 

Pouting, Komaeda started to pepper sweet, nice kisses all over Hinata’s face while his hands were busy with his pants’ belt. After a few second, he lowered himself in front of the suspicious bump that betrayed Hinata’s arousal.

 

“Let me take care of your anger issue ?” he breathed, looking at the other with pleading eyes.

Hinata moaned against his will when Komaeda’s fingers grazed his crotch. He leaned his forehead against the wall in front of him. For some reason, he felt like he was the one being trapped right now.

 

“Yeah” he said breathily, and gently cupped Komaeda’s cheek with one of his hand, rising his head toward him. “You know, I say it counts as wall sex at the end of the day.”

 

Komaeda’s genuine laugh was the most beautiful sound in the world and the last thing he heard before he started to destroy even the concept of anger in Hinata’s mind with his way-too-skilled tongue.

 

*

 

**3.**

 

Koizumi had sincerely thought she could use the men’s bathroom. After all, one of the women’s toilet was broken, and Ibuki has been sick in the other one. Fool that she was, she didn’t think there would be any harm in picking the cleanest option. Five minutes top, it wasn’t even such a big deal, since there was no urinal in it, just a couple of locked stalls.

 

Clearly, someone up there hated her.

 

“ _Ha… Hajime, ah, so good ! Right there !_ ”

 

Koizumi rolled her eyes. She didn’t know how insecure Hinata was with his sexual prowess that Komaeda felt the need to moan like a cheap pornstar, but damn was it getting on her nerves. And they have been at it for _twenty minutes_ , not even bothering locking themselves in a stall : it was a lot better to get down to business against the sinks. Also, where would be the fun if she could just leave her own bathroom stall and leave, right ?

 

Losers.

 

“ _I’m going to come inside you,_ ” Hinata warned with what was supposed to be a sultry voice. “ _I’m going to fill you up and you’re going to walk out there with my sperm inside you, and I’m going to be the only one who knows what you’re hiding._ ”

 

‘How I wish it was true,’ Koizumi thought, desperate. She didn’t need to know about Hinata’s creepy fantasies, thank you very much. How was she supposed to have a normal discussion with him, now ?

 

“ _Aah, yes, Hajime ! I need you to come inside !_ ”

 

Pushed by boredom - and some kind of morbid curiosity - she moved her head so she could see through the space between the door and the wall. The position was far from perfect, but here they were, right in front of her.

 

Komaeda was grabbing the edge of the sink with both of his hands and facing the mirror while Hinata was giving him a pounding from behind. His pace was all over the place, but Komaeda didn’t seem to mind, his cheeks flushed, his eyes half-closed in daze. Hinata’s hand came to brush Komaeda’s bangs on his forehead.

 

“ _Keep your eyes open. Look at you,_ ” she heard him whisper against the other’s skin.

 

Koizumi’s lips were suddenly dry. Alright, it was Komaeda and Hinata, and they had forced her to stay hidden in a stupid stall for almost half-an-hour, but she would lie if she said she wasn’t into it at all. The whole thing was completely immoral, but kind of hot, too.

 

Hinata finished quickly, inside his boyfriend as promised, and then jerked off Komaeda until he spilled in the sink, strangely quiet. He came in a barely-audible gasp that Hinata swallowed in a deep kiss. Koizumi moved away from her peeping tom spot and tried to calm herself a little - it would be suspicious if she came out with a burning face.

 

“ _Hajime_ ,” she heard Komaeda say, breathy and seductive. “ _Hajime_ ”, he repeated.

 

Some more kissing noises. Then Komaeda kept talking.

 

“ _I want to finish inside of you too_.”

 

Hinata’s breath caught up in his throat. To Koizumi’s horror, the next noise she heard was another very sexual noise, and the sound of pants being taken down.

 

Stupid, horny, teenage boys.

 


End file.
